Stacy's posterous

Today

As I stood outside the elementary school today waiting for the bell to ring, all I could think about is how lucky I am. 

Boots clomping against new snow and too big hats cover little faces as the kids bound through the school doors. 

Backpacks were never that huge when I was little, where they? 

I don't want them to grow up. Two of my four have, and I wonder what I'll do when the other half of my tribe reach the age I am no longer standing on the side walk to see their joyful faces emerge from school. 

I hear every detail of their day on the ride home. No having to pry. It spills out, and just keeps coming. 

It's soul soothing. 

In the best of times and the worst of times, I am theirs and they are mine. 

And that is everything! 

Diet Free Since 2003.

Okay.... since 2009. But then it wouldn't rhyme in the title. :)

That's when I FINALLY figured things out.

I was a super thin kid, an athletic teenager, and active young adult. It wasn't until I had children that I started to have to work at losing weight. 

Because I had my first two children in my early twenties, the weight melted off with a little effort, and active lifestyle. Even so, I went through phase of compulsive running, working out and severe calorie restriction. 

During those, "I like to see my ribs, pelvic bones and concave abdomen", years; I read every diet and nutrition book, and tried many popular diet plans.  I can't say that I'm an expert on health and nutrition, but I've certainly learned a lot over the years. 

One thing is for sure. If you  severely deprive yourself to reach a goal, it is impossible to maintain it. Remember Oprah after her liquid diet; pulling a wagon full of fat on stage? A year later the weight was back with a vengeance.

The body has an amazing way of protecting itself, so when you enter into any kind of starvation mode, your metabolism will slow and your body will want to store fat any chance it gets to protect you from your next bout of starvation. 

Life style changes work. Diets rarely do...... at least long term.

It wasn't until I had my thyroid removed after a diagnosis of papillary carcinoma (thyroid cancer), that I really had to think about my weight. 

I'd lost my voice after my right vocal cord was paralyzed as a result of the surgery, and in those months following the diagnosis, with very little energy and no voice; I turned to food for comfort. 

I couldn't be who I'd always been. Where I'd once gotten up early to run five miles before the kids got out of bed; I now barely had the energy to get out of bed PERIOD.

After years of research and visiting various doctors of all types, I begged my doctor to try an unconventional cocktail of medicines that gradually gave me my energy back. I was no longer freezing or lethargic. My memory and mental clarity improved. I started feeling like their was hope that I would be able to return to the active lifestyle I'd always known.

I started getting back into shape slowly. I took morning walks. Used hand weights during commercials when I was watching TV. Did sit ups before bed. And watched portion sizes when I was eating. I didn't diet. I ate pizza and ice cream and birthday cake. Sometimes I ate too much of it.

The weight came off slowly, and my expectations changed drastically. Where I'd once strived to be the tight and toned athlete I once was, I started appreciating my body for what it was. I'm truly grateful for the energy I now have, which allows me to hike, swim, snowboard, and enjoy life with the people I love. 

Movement is the key to health and weight loss. Not only does it improve your metabolism; you get the added benefits of the "after burn" which improves your metabolic function by 25% for hours after you exercise. 

So, recently someone asked me how I've kept off the weight I lost about two and a half years ago. Here it is: 

I started moving more.

I'd start my morning with free weights. I began with 3 pound weights, then soon moved up to 5 pound weights, then 8. Doing three reps each of bicep curls, military press, deltoid raise, squats and sit ups. I'd do 20 of each without rest in between, then 15, with a very little pause, and then 10 each; again with very little pause in between each set. It gets your heart rate up a little and takes very little time to complete. It improves muscle mass which increases the amount of calories burned in a day.

I found it to be a great way to start the day, and you get the "after burn" benefit of increase metabolism for a while after the short work out.

I kept plenty of vegetables, eggs, lean meat and nuts on hand. I still do.

After work I'd play two or three upbeat songs and use my step bench with one riser and repeat moved i'd learned in a step class. Just three songs worth, but enough to get my heart rate up. Sometimes my little girls would come into the bedroom and dance while I was doing it. It'd turn into a little dance party. :)

Later in the evening I'd walk or run. Gradually working up the ability to run Crazy Legs, participate in a sprint triathlon, and run a quarter and half marathon.

And I ate!!! I didn't count calories or points or eat packaged food. I fueled my body with good food, but ate chocolate and ice cream and pizza when I wanted it. 

I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full, trying to be mindful of portion sizes and not going crazy with bread and sugar. 

It took time. I've maintained a 30 pound weight loss within 8 lbs for two and a half years.

Would I like to look like a Victoria's Secret model? Sure. But I'm pretty happy with the way I look and most importantly; who I am.

Losing weight is pretty simple. Move a little more and eat a little less. :) 

And now I'm going to grab a handful of almonds and my water bottle and head to a lunch hour Body Pump class.

So that's it. Diet free since 2003...... Okay; 2009. :) 

Random Shit

Making mistakes is a good thing, as along as you learn a lesson. 

If you are never accountable, or take responsibility for the error of your ways, nothing is learned.

If you care about someone but are too proud to tell them, there's no one to blame but yourself if they drift away. 

If someone is important to you, they should know it... they should feel it and your words should back it up.

If you've fucked up, say you're sorry. Being awesome is dependent on owning your mistakes. Don't make excuses.

Diets are stupid. Eat wisely. Enjoy food in moderation and get some exercise. Diets don't work. Taking care of yourself does. Deprivation only leads to failure.

Needing attention at times is understandable, but being an attention whore is a problem. People notice. There is a big difference.

We only have a limited number of hours per day to give of ourselves to the people who really matter. Are you using those hours wisely? 

You can't be a shit bag in one area of your life and make up for it by being a hero in another area of your life. It just isn't possible. 

Don't yell at your kids. It's the example they follow. 

Use an easy bake oven when you get a chance. It'll remind you of being a kid.

Don't drive through a subdivision to look at lights: walk... or run. Breath in the cold winter air.

Hold hands.

Don't talk shit about people. Who knows what they're going through that you don't know about.

Kiss as often as you can. 

If you have to knock someone down to feel good about yourself, you might want to really think about what you need to do to feel better about yourself.

There's nothing respectable about gossip.

You're beautiful, until you talk about how someone else isn't. Then you're ugly.

Hug, and hold the hug when you mean it.

Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see. 

The Food Network is awesome. Be inspired and try something new. 

Call someone who you haven't talked to in a while.

Let go of a grudge you've been holding. It causes more harm than good.

Ryan Braun is amazing. I don't care what anyone says.

and last but not least........... 

Don't hang on and wait for something good to happen. Seek it out. Find it. Create it. Make it happen.

Yesterday, I couldn't see that. Today I do. :) 

Happy Holidays. 

xoxoxoxoxo

Secret e-mails

I write secret emails.
 
They're full of silliness. And love.
 
A few years ago I set up a gmail account for my daughter. She was only six at the time, and because at almost 9, she's still a little young for email, she doesn't know it exists.
 
Now that she reads and writes and knows more about technology than I do, it won't be long until  I hand over her secret email account filled with messages I've written to her over the past several years.
 
I hope she enjoys discovering them. :)
 
 

I have a secret

I have a secret.
 
 
Let me first start by saying that I work in an industry where I get to meet and talk to a lot of people. They share their joys, sorrows, and triumphs. They bitch. They share dreams, goals and heartache. Twenty years worth.
 
One thing I know to be true from two decades of listening is that happiness comes from the most basic things. It's not about who you THINK you are, who you WANT to be, or any of the bullshit society makes us think it's about.
 
Your awesome tech gadgets might impress your pals, but it won't rub it's legs up against yours at night. 
 
You're killer shoe collection might be envied at the office, but it won't tickle you silly while you're laying in bed at night.
 
It's not about your childs GPA (although important) or their sports accomplishments; especially at the cost of your child  resenting you. 
 
If behind closed doors of the dream house, there is no laughter, little affection... if playfulness is rare.... so is happiness.
 
The secret to happiness is togetherness; it's the realization that each day we have a chance to love, and laugh, and play. Even if it's just for a few minutes. 
 
 
THAT'S secret.  Play. 
 
 
 

Mermaid or Whale?

I'm not sure who to credit for this, but I thought it was BRILLIANT!!!
 

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way: 

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

Let Them Fall

Someone once told me that too many people really don't get what it means to be a parent. 

This was about 17 years ago when I had a newborn and a busy toddler. Being new to parenting, I was curious.

"Your job as a parent is to provide your children with the tools to make their way in the world and be productive adults."

But what are those tools? 

"Let them fall. Don't always protect them. Let them feel pain and face consequences."

Our instincts as parents is to protect our children. Take their pain away. Make everything better.

But in doing so, are we actually hurting them? 

I won't ever pretend to have all the answers or be the best parent in the world. Sometimes our instincts tell us to do the very things that we shouldn't do. 

As a parent we want to give our kids every opportunity to succeed. Maybe they need to create that opportunity for themselves. Isn't that part of being successful? 

When I was a kid, we had to earn things. Earn.... as in work... as in save.... as in really want it bad enough to baby sit really horrible kids every saturday night to have enough money to buy it.

We live in a time that encourages a sense of entitlement. Parents desire to maintain image and give their kids opportunity leads them to make excuses for their kids instead of forcing them to be accountable.

I've made mistakes. Plenty of them. But...... I've let my kids fall and feel the pain of their mistakes. 

I love and cherish my kids beyond words. I hope the things I do right have more impact than the things I do wrong. 
In business they say you can do ten things right and one thing wrong, and it'll be the one thing you do wrong that is remembered. 

Is that true of parenting? Do we fixate on the things our parents have done wrong instead of feeling incredibly lucky for all the things they did right? 

Maybe our job isn't to prevent the fall or even soften the blow. Maybe our job is to be there with a few band aids and remind them they could make better choices and avoid that pain in the future. 

Greed

I only talk politics with a select few people. 

Those who know me well, know that I'm pretty objective. I crave facts. I don't want to hear the partisan spin on the facts. 

I don't support any party. Not any more.  I support a government for the people. One that identifies problems and finds solutions. 

People often assume that because I'm a business owner, I'm a republican. It's not a wise assumption. I'm for a healthy government for all people.  Not just for me.

I'm for bipartisan solutions to the problems our country is facing. Solutions that makes sense for the vast majority.

The truth is, I don't want to be associated with either "party". Politics are corrupt, and have become less about what's really in the best interest of our people and more about winning as a party. 

I shouldn't be about the red team or the blue team winning. 

It's pretty clear that the problems our country is facing continues to have a devastating effect on a huge segment of our people while the corporate sector reports record profits and CEOs pocket huge bonus's. 

This is not the fault of one president or one term, or one party. It's the degradation of our government. It's a lack of integrity. It's years of irresponsibility. It's big business funding campaigns and reaping the benefits.

Some of the hardest working people in our country are jobless, homeless, and hopeless. 

The dollar, which has always been the international currency, is losing it's value.  At what point do the world leaders get together and decide to change the international currency to something more stable? Then what?

I see across both party lines. I see the merit the arguments on both sides. What I don't see is compromise or solutions.

I read this article this morning, and although this is not a new article or a new issue, it made me mad. Mad that our country is run by big business, because they're the ones that can buy politicians. 

Sadly, our government is no longer for "the people".

500 Days of Stacy: What's the point?

Is it just my imagination, or do far too many people spend way too much time talking trash about other people?

I was talking to a business contact yesterday when the subject came up. 

"If you're not being talked about you're not doing anything."

Almost every accomplishment in my life has been followed by rumors and gossip. Sometimes, down right cruelty.

I've heard so many rumors about myself over the years, that at this point, I'm truly not affected. 

I feel sorry for people who have such deep seeded insecurities that they find validation in gossiping about others. Are their lives so boring that talking shit is entertaining? 

Are they so unfulfilled that trying to diminish the success of others will somehow give them fulfillment? I don't get it.

I've always said that if people spent as much time focusing on their own lives and troubles as they do the lives and troubles of others, the world would be a better place.

At the end of the day, you can knock people down, but it doesn't change who's looking back at you in the mirror. 

I'm very fortunate to have some strong, beautiful, supportive, and well adjusted women in my life. Women that I'm tremendously proud of. Women that talk about ideas and things that are important to them more than they do other people. Women who are positive and inspiring.

Talking shit about others doesn't make you smarter, more talented, more successful, more respected or more beautiful. 

It doesn't make you a better parent or spouse or friend. 

It certainly doesn't make you a role model.

So, what's the point? What good comes from it? I don't get it.

Day 241

I had a conversation with a client this morning that's been stuck in my head all day. 

So, we were talking about relationships. This young lady has had a string of relationships that always start out great, but end up in a place where she no longer feels valued or that her needs are being met. 

Obviously relationships evolve over time.  No relationship is going to be the same five years in as it was the first year, but there has to be a way to keep the love, playfulness, and lust in a relationship alive. Falling into the trap of taking the person you're with for granted is avoidable, isn't it? 

There's nothing fun about going through the motions. It's not to say that life should always be some grand adventure; there's definitely joy in the simple things:  a discrete ass grab in the grocery store grocery is pretty hot if you ask me.......

Holding hands while watching television, telling your guy that he looks sexy after mowing the lawn (or is that just me that likes scruff and sweat..... and a baseball cap? Is it hot in here? ;)

Or catching your wife in the laundry room and turning it into an impromptu make out session. 

There's opportunities for fun, flirtation, and playfulness in everything. It doesn't have to be lost after the first year, or after having kids, or after the bills pile up.  

All it really takes it two people that want to have a successful relationship and are willing to be in.... really  in it.... TOGETHER. 

And that's the hard part.  Imbalance causes resentment and resentment is poison to a relationship. There's something really wonderful about the balance of giving equal to what you're receiving in a relationship.

I know so many women and men who've left relationships, or been unfaithful because they stopped feeling wanted.... attractive.... respected.....appreciated. All of it. 

As much as I think that women need more validation from the men that they love, guys need it, too. And women forget this.

I hope that when my son gets into a serious relationship that he is affectionate, grateful, respectful, and supportive. I hope he finds a way to work through problems, and not take his stress out on the person he loves. When he does, I hope he recognizes it and is man enough to apologize. I hope doesn't take the person he loves for granted. I hope he tells her when she looks pretty; that he's proud of her; and that he's grateful for the little things she does. 

I hope she does the same for him, and they find a way to handle whatever life throws at them... TOGETHER.

Regardless of how many years into a relationship we might be, everyone needs warmth, compassion, respect, compromise and appreciation. 

I didn't have any really good advice for my client today, but I understood. I've heard it a thousand times, and felt it a time or two. 

I suggested that she ask herself if she was truly putting into the relationship what she was expecting in return. 

Her expression changed, and after a pause her answer was,  "No."

Sometimes we get so fixated on what we need in a relationship we forget to question what we're giving.